shit my kid says

- while eating breakfast, in a dimly lit dining room, "you sparkle just like sugar."

- "I refuse to go to school for one more day if I have to wear pants."

- "Mom, all the kids at school talk about someone named Justin Beaver. Do you know who he is?"

- "I want to be a teacher when I grow up, so I can chew gum and wear whatever I want."

- after waking me at 6am, an hour before she should be getting up, I said "what are you doing up so early, monkey?" to which she replied "why are you still sleeping, junkie?"

- while painting a picture of a rainbow, she explained that she was painting a rainbow because "my dreams are of rainbows."

late nite ramblings

- I'm officially (officially) moving on August 10th. I've lost track of how many times I've pushed the date back since this whole thing came about, but this is it. Emma will have to start school at the end of August, sooo there's no turning back now. Seven weeks.

- I had a really good weekend, aside from being kind of sick. I saw a concert with a friend, watched a lot of soccer, and belly laughed a handful of times. Belly laughing is truly one of my favorite things about being alive.

- My daughter has been drawing pictures of cactus everywhere, and unfortunately they look like dicks. Both my driveway and a sign she made for her garden at her grandparent's house are covered in giant hieroglyphic dicks.

- Lately I've taken note of how often I'm letting my emotions make my choices for me, and I mean, I know I'm a female, and we're known for doing that, but it bothers me. I've never been this way before. Generally, I let intellect/logic guide the way, but my life is in a very emotional state right now, and most days it seems like the universe is getting me right in the feels. I've been practicing taking a deep breathe before I respond to things, and also making more calculated decisions. In fact, since I've been consciously doing this, I've been fascinated with the idea of, or maybe just the word calculation. It seems robotic?

- This evening I asked Emma what she wanted to do for dinner, and she said "watch the sunset with you Mommy." She was away this weekend, and we didn't even talk for 2 days. It was good for both of us. So for dinner we had a sunset. It was delicious.

What have you been up to? Tell me something good.

everything

because sometimes you just have to take a break from life to be silly, even if it is past bed time.

shit my kid says

-while she was pretending that her Bunno was a newborn baby, I told her it was time to head downstairs and clean up her toys. she responded with "why would you treat me like this on the day that I had a baby?!"

-I came downstairs and found her watching a game show and I asked her why she wanted to watch that. She said "It's called family game nite, and it's great. You can win things LIKE A NEEEEWWWW CAR!"

-"mom this toothpaste tastes spiced."

-"Michaela was right. I'm a total fraud."

- "my heart depends on a kitten."

mini me

This time that I'm spending alone with Emma has kind of forced us into a different dynamic, where she understands that this is harder for me, and so she's kinder to me. Plus, I think that because we both miss her dad we're able to commiserate a little bit, so it kind of feels like we're on a team. We're in this together.

Whatever the case, I'm so grateful for it, because it's allowed me to spend more quality time with her. I feel like I'm getting to know a part of myself by doing things with her. For instance, I took her to the movies a couple of weekends ago to see the new Muppet movie, and that nite, at bedtime, she told me she didn't like it because the "fake Kermit" scared her, and it just made her really sad that the real Kermit was in jail for no reason. I'm not telling you this to spoil the movie, but because when I was a kid my little sister liked to watch this Sesame Street movie called Follow That Bird, and it would stress me the fuck out when Big Bird was kidnapped and painted blue. I hated watching the movie because it made me sad.

Her reaction reminded me so much of me. She reminds me so much of me. Sometimes I have trouble wrapping my mind around it. I made an actual person who looks and acts like me. What even?