monday musings

I saw this in my facebook feed this morning and it made my heart happy.

This song is on constant repeat in my head.

I made these for breakfast last week, and holy yum.

Since I'm not working right now, I can make it to hot yoga. I'm working on this pose. I'm hoping I'll have it down by the end of the month!

I'm obsessed with this face mask. It leaves your skin feeling so, so soft. I've never used anything that compares to it.


Happy Monday! I hope you all had a great weekend. Mine was boring, for the most part. I've been trying to kick a sickness that has been lingering for way too long, but I did manage to make it to the gym twice, watched a few episodes of House of Cards, and we went out for bbq at my favorite place, so I can't complain! Also, I fixed the video in my last post, it had no sound, so go back and give it a watch. It's worth 10 minutes of your time.

(photo via)

this is water

I feel like to appropriately tell this story I have to start with a preface.

Midland isn't like anything you could imagine. It is an oil town, and up until recently it was a small town. However with advances in technology, oil companies saw $$$ out here, and people began to migrate here for jobs because it's a very high paying industry. There's no way that this town could accommodate to the growing population in a timely manner, and subsequently there were a lot of economic woes to follow because of overcrowding. Unfortunately, because no one wants to (can afford to) live here unless they're in the oil industry, other industries suffer. For example, I had a broken stove for over a month because the property management where I live can't find maintenance workers. No one cares. Want to go out to eat? Be prepared to endure a long wait (2 hours on a weekend), and also be prepared for sub par customer service. No one cares. In a rush at the grocery store? Don't be, because there are only 3 (stores) and 150,000 people who are also in a hurry, and we're all just going to have to wait. The icing on the shit cake is that it's really ugly and boring here. The land is just flat dirt, there's no real grass, no trees, just mesquite bushes, the water smells like rotten eggs, and the air smells like hydrogen sulfide. It's boring because no one wants to be here long (we're all here to make a quick buck, and then go) so people don't really invest in starting new businesses. There are movie theaters, a bowling alley, and a mall that literally has a ROSS in it (LOL).

I think I've painted a good enough picture. It's the ugly step child of Texas. This isn't a post about how much I hate where I live. I've been here for 7 months, and it took me 6 of them to stop being angry that I ended up here. Everyone that knows me has told me to just shut the fuck up or move at some point during the last 6 months, and I've thought about it, (moving, not shutting the fuck up.) In October I came really close to enrolling in grad school, just for a reason to leave. I spent a lot of sleepless nites thinking about how much I missed my old home, and how I'd give up the money and opportunity to just go back to living somewhere that made me happy, because isn't that what life is all about? But there was a nagging question in the back of my mind; what kind of example would I be setting for my daughter if I quit something just because it was hard?

Life isn't just about being happy. I've learned this through years of depression. Life is about cycles; good and bad, and lessons, and endurance, and seriously, someone just life hire me as a life coach already.

When I started thinking about what I could learn in my time here, I felt a shift and I wasn't angry anymore. I'm trying to learn patience, most of all, but I'm also realizing that all situations come with advantages and disadvantages, and someday I'm going to miss right now, regardless of how hard it feels right now. I'm learning to appreciate things for what they are. (Despite my 3am twitter rants about waking up to the smell of hydrogen sulfide!)

I watched this video the other day and it was a much needed reminder that we have the ability to make a choice about how we react to life. I wanted to post it here, because I know we all reach a point in life when things get tough, and we forget what is important.

Happy Wednesday, friends. Today I'm choosing to be happy. I hope you will too. :)

weekend therapy (+hello)

Hi.

It's been awhile since I've written here, and a lot of things have come and gone since.

Strangely, because I've always had an aversion to change, I'm finding a lot of comfort in the fact that nothing lasts forever.

I got laid off from my job last week because of the down trend that's going on in the oil market right now. I wallowed in it all week, and then took a road trip over the weekend because I needed a mental break.

I drove to Big Bend, fell in love with Texas just a little bit more, climbed a mountain, and then melted into a hot tub. It was the best day I've had in awhile.

I kind of feel like I've forgotten how to write here - or how to write at all, but I miss this space, and I think about it often. So here are some pictures until next time.

xo

order

Today is my birthday and for the last few days leading up to it, I've been thinking about prior, memorable for various reasons, birthdays. I've never been good at celebrating them. Its has been my experience that I expect too much out of people, and generally end up disappointed. Hence, birthdays have never really been my thing.

When I was a kid my parents had to force me to participate in my own party, every year. There's an infamous picture of my from my 5th birthday where I'm crying while blowing out the candles.

On my 7th birthday I hid in a tree in my front yard while my friends, that my mom invited, were inside playing. After finding me, my dad made me come inside and open up gifts, and I spent the rest of the day wearing my bitchface.

On my 13th birthday it was raining. I walked home from the bus stop listening to The Counting Crows on my Walkman, and when I walked in the house was completely dark and no one was home. My older sister had a baby the day before, so my family was at the hospital with her. A random friend of our family dropped by that evening with a birthday cake for me.

At the time of my 21st birthday I was living with my ex-husband (not my ex-husband then, definitely my ex-husband now.) We had plans to go out for dinner and drinks to celebrate my birthday. While I was in the shower he went out for a bag of weed and didn't come home until the next day. I ate Taco Bueno for dinner, alone.

On my 25 birthday I was going through a divorce from the aforementioned husband, and I was living alone for the first time. My friends took me out, and we ran into a guy I was dating... and his girlfriend. I proceed to get embarrassingly drunk, and I threw up in my friends car at the end of the nite.

My 27th birthday was my favorite. I was 9 months pregnant, and I had no plans, other than to have dinner with Bryan. I talked to my brother on the phone several times that day, nothing out of the ordinary for us, and at one point I let him go so I could shower. My phone was ringing when I got out, and it was my brother again, asking me if I was out of the shower and dressed. "What the fuck kind of question is that? Of course I'm dressed, I wouldn't talk to you while I'm naked" I replied, at which time I heard my doorbell ringing, and I told him I needed to go because there was someone at my door, and I was in fact, not dressed. I quickly threw some clothes on and answered the door, and it was my brother. He drove 3 hours to have dinner with me on my birthday.

This year I was kind of expecting my shitty birthday trend to continue, but I woke up to an email from a company I interviewed with last week. They offered me a job. Not just any job though, my dream job.

So instead of being a pessimist all day, I'm going to get in a workout at the gym, and a barre class too. And then I'm going to buy something nice because god dammit I am proud of myself. This just might be my year after all.

west Texas

I'm officially a west Texan. I think I could write an entire book on the disasters that have taken place since I moved here, but I don't want to be a negative Nancy, so I'll share with you a few of the funnier ones, because laughing is good, n'est-ce pas?

- I went to the grocery store and I asked a worker, in the bakery department, where the pita bread was, and this mother fucker shrugged at me. I'm like "You don't know? You work here, yes?" to which he reposefully replied "Yep." right before smiling and walking off.

- The cable guy came to install my cable/internet, and he asked me to help him. I'm laughing out loud while typing this, because it was a lot more insane than it actually sounds. Like he literally needed help. "Here hold this. Push this button when I say so." And I had to pay for $100 for the installation. That I had to help with.

- I've made a friend here. She's 65, and she uses words like 'kinfolk' and 'yonder,' and we share a liking for unsweet tea. I just love her.

- I get ogled often, because there are a lot of men here who act like dogs. My favorite instance so far happened in line at a convenience store, when a guy started singing to me.

- I wanted to order a pizza the other day, but couldn't because the place I was going to order from closes at 9:40pm. WTF? Random.


And because blog posts without pictures are no fun, here's a photo of Midland, from space that Alexander Gerst posted on twitter the other day. The squares are oil/gas drill pads.

And for more fun, here's a google map of where I'm at. I feel like crying every time I look at it. I'm in the middle of nowhere!