shit my kid says

- while eating breakfast, in a dimly lit dining room, "you sparkle just like sugar."

- "I refuse to go to school for one more day if I have to wear pants."

- "Mom, all the kids at school talk about someone named Justin Beaver. Do you know who he is?"

- "I want to be a teacher when I grow up, so I can chew gum and wear whatever I want."

- after waking me at 6am, an hour before she should be getting up, I said "what are you doing up so early, monkey?" to which she replied "why are you still sleeping, junkie?"

- while painting a picture of a rainbow, she explained that she was painting a rainbow because "my dreams are of rainbows."

shit my kid says

"I've just been thinking about finding the cat dead... and when he does die, we'll have to pick him up and put him on a pan, and leave him there until we can figure out the directions to heaven, because I don't know where it is."

after putting on a performance: "clap if you liked it, clap slowly if you didn't."

me: you're beautiful
emma: you're nosy!

"MOM! You look hideously gorgeous."

after telling her I wasn't going to the gym the other day she said "We have to go! I made plans to meet a friend there!"

shit my kid says

- "Dancing skills are easy mom. You just have to pick a move, then make it groove."

- "Michaela says she can talk to animals. She's coming over today to see what's wrong with the cat." (our cat is decidedly an outdoor cat, so he goes missing for a day or two at a time, and it really bothers Emma that he doesn't want to be here with us all the time, haha!

- "You're the prettiest mommy I've ever had."

- "I like you, but I prefer Dad."

- I overheard her singing Bob Marley, but instead of "Exodus" she was singing "pixie dust.. movement of the people."

shit my kid says

-while she was pretending that her Bunno was a newborn baby, I told her it was time to head downstairs and clean up her toys. she responded with "why would you treat me like this on the day that I had a baby?!"

-I came downstairs and found her watching a game show and I asked her why she wanted to watch that. She said "It's called family game nite, and it's great. You can win things LIKE A NEEEEWWWW CAR!"

-"mom this toothpaste tastes spiced."

-"Michaela was right. I'm a total fraud."

- "my heart depends on a kitten."